Consigning clothing/shoes/bags and the feeling of being judged.

Over the weekend I gathered up some of my “nicer” items (designer clothes and bags, unworn shoes, unworn clothing) and headed to a consignment shop called Common Sort in Leslieville.  I’ve never done this before, but read about others who have.  Usually I just donate to Goodwill but wanted to see how consignment works and what I could get for a bunch of sunk cost items.

It was odd.  There was a woman who took all of my stuff out of the container and examined each item.  She told me it wasn’t necessary to hover, so I tried to look around the store, peeping every so often at her intense stares.  To be honest, I was embarrassed to have a few items that still had tags on, clearly never worn.  I was also embarrassed as some of the items were totally ill-suited to my role as a mother (I am still on maternity leave), and further embarrassed as she was confused as to why I didn’t want to wear a dress with studs on the shoulder, or 6 inch heels, as if somehow I was “giving up” fashion.

I was also slightly offended as she placed the unwanted items back in the box.  When she turned her attention to the items she wanted, and took out a pen and a tag to price each item.  It was kind of exhilarating.  How much would she think that was worth? Oh really? That much? That little?  In the end, it’s not a negotiation (at least I don’t think so?).  She tabulated all the items and offered either 25% of the total in cash or 50% in store credit.  I took the store credit and came out about $90 richer.  I took my reject box and thought about all the money it took to purchase those items, some much-loved, others total duds.  It was an interesting experience.  Not sure I would do it again.  The money is nice, but I kind of wish it went all to charity instead.

July wrap up and goals for August.

July was a pretty good month.  I was way more aware of what I was buying, and overall, purchased much less than I typically do.  Even though I still made some purchases, this represents major progress for me.

My July purchases:

• Two t-shirts from the Gap (on two separate occasions)
• Two white flow-y shirts from Uniqlo
• One pair of thrifted jeans from Value Village

I confess that some of other purchases were a bit out of hand (by other I mean purchases for baby, which for now, do not count).  We bought our baby an exersaucer (which she turned out to be too tall for, AFTER I spent 1.5 hours putting it together) and a music machine.  Granted, they were both purchased using a gift card we received, it still represents STUFF in our house.  And, anyone who’s ever had an exersaucer can attest to the fact that they are probably the least minimalist toy ever to be made.

As for our house, we’ve made major progress, giving away items to the Goodwill, as well as consigning clothing/bags/shoes.  Still more to go.  Our ultimate goal is to have the moving truck come, pick up approximately 10 boxes of our things, a few items of furniture, and be out of here in an hour.  It’s amazing how minimalism can save money in every way.  Can you imagine paying movers for only an hour of their time?

Here are some of my goals for August:

• no purchases for me (that means no clothing, shoes, makeup, bags, etc.)
• clear out our basement so that everything we own is on the first floor, ready to be sorted and packed/donated/sold.  I will take a picture of our basement with nothing in it if we succeed.

Temptation on Vacation.

That sounds kind of like a cheesy romance novel, but it more or less summarizes my trip to New York City last weekend.  My husband and I took baby for the weekend to eat, mainly, and see the sights.  It was supposed to be a work trip for my husband, but it got canceled last-minute.  Since we already purchased my ticket, it was cheaper just to go through with the trip.  In any case, I’m glad we went.

Before leaving, I was very conscious that there would be stores that I wanted to visit, particularly those we do not have in Canada (which is kind of a blessing in disguise).  In the past, I would’ve taken an entire shopping day, dragging my husband and baby with me as we moved from store to store.  In my effort to be minimalist, I realized the best thing to do was just to avoid shopping altogether.  It was a liberating plan!  It freed up an entire day and we made plans to go to MoMA and eat pizza.

When we got there, I still didn’t feel the draw.  I was really happy walking the streets of Soho and browsing the street art.  I popped into a Helmut Lang pop-up shop, but quickly left as I realized I was doing precisely what I didn’t want to do, leave baby and husband at the front, with nothing to do.  I quickly left, and my husband told me he was proud of me.

Basking in my altruism, I offered to go to Uniqlo with my husband to look for shorts.  Uniqlo is his favourite store, ever since discovering their t-shirts in London.  I patiently picked out shorts with him, waited beside the waiting room as he tried them on, and basically felt like a saint.  Of course as I was waiting, I spotted a woman walking by carrying what looked like a beautifully plain white button up shirt. Long story short, I caved and purchased two white flow-y shirts.  Granted they are on my capsule wardrobe list (more to come on that later), I still felt quite guilty.  It’s not perfect, but I still did a lot better than I typically would’ve had, being in the clothing centre of the world.

Free books!

It’s called the library. We have a great library system in Toronto, which I used (and probably abused) between the ages of 8-14. Seriously, I took out entire rows of Nancy Drews and Hardy Boys, and then racked up late charges. Oh younger me, what were you thinking? Also, I always wonder if I could’ve learned a new language, or skill if I actually read something useful instead of books about youths who sleuth (that sort of rhymes when you say it outloud).

So yes, a few months ago, I decided that I was sick of buying books that I didn’t end up reading. Even on my e-reader, which is probably a minimalist approved technology, I was not reading at a clip that would warrant even 1 book a year. I turned to the library. They have fashion magazines, cookbooks, current literature, etc.  Amazing!

Since using the library, I’ve actually read more. I finished a book (Decoded, by Mai Jai), which is quite a feat for me for a variety of reasons (as a new mom, there’s not much time to read. As a PhD student, I feel guilty reading anything that’s not related to my research).

Suffice to say, I still can’t return books on time. I’ve paid about $10 in late fees over the last few months, but have taken out 30+ books and 5+ magazines. A pretty good deal I would say. Plus, late fees support the library. I consider it a charitable donation. =)

Ins and Outs: July 27.

Another edition.  Because I’m moving soon there’s a lot of purging to do.  Again, I want to document my donations as an antidote to future excess. Yuck.  Sometimes I just want to get rid of everything all at once.  But I’m not that person.  I feel loads of guilt for having accumulated so many items over the past decade.  Writing about why I’m giving it away helps with the process.

Outs:

• 2 casual dresses (too “early-20s”, and not breastfeeding friendly.  I would have to get naked to feed baby)
• 2 pairs of boxer shorts (I’m trying to establish a more refined home/lounge style, if that makes sense)
• 3 tank tops (too young looking)
• 2 work sweaters (I don’t feel guilty about these, I wore them to death)
• 2 work shirts (same as above)
• 1 rash guard (I love that I held on to this.  I dream of living by the beach and surfing everyday.  I’m glad I once had the opportunity to do so)
• 3 tee shirts (maybe it’s because I have a tummy from where baby once lived, but fitted shirts drive me crazy now)
• 1 pair of gym shorts (rides up my thighs.  Who likes short shorts?)
• 2 cardigans (again, too young looking)
• 1 skirt from American Eagle (I modelled an outfit with this skirt for my husband and said I looked like a “hot young junior, starting her first job in the big city”.  So, yeah.  THAT skirt had to go).
• TOTAL: 19 ITEMS

Ins:

• 1 t-shirt from the Gap ($9.99 + tax)
• TOTAL: 1 ITEM

I know, so so so bad.  That first purchase this month just opened a mental floodgate.  Ugh.  I take comfort in that it was “only” $10, but feel like I’m failing to do my part to stem the proliferation of fast fashion and its ethical consequences.

The rules of buying on paper.

I can’t remember where I read about this, but if I do I will link it here. It’s pretty simple, the concept of buying on paper, anything that has lasting power (i.e. takes up space in your home and won’t decompose) is off limits.

In my opinion, it differs from just wanting something and writing it down. It has to be something you would actually purchase, if you were the old you. So for me, June me would buy x, y and z without much thought vs. July me, who would write down x, y and z and feel a sense of satisfaction from “buying it on paper”, with money still in the bank. The point of this exercise is that it puts a break on our desires to consume easily and immediately.  The act of writing actually sort of (not really) produces the same feeling. But you do get a good feeling from seeing what you’ve abstained from.  The thinking goes that by the end of the month, you will no longer desire those things. Delayed gratification.

If you still wanted the item, you would be allowed to buy it, but you would see how fleeting those desires were.  For us, I’m counting anything my husband or I purchase.  Nothing counts for baby right now (especially since we bought her an exersaucer, or as my husband’s colleague calls it, the “ignoresaucer”.  In the future, I will practice minimalism with baby as well, but for now, I need to get myself sorted.

Jeans. And the problem of too many.

Like many women, I have too many pairs of jeans.  I wonder why it is that we feel like we need 5 different styles (jeggings, skinny, bootleg, wide-leg, and boyfriend, for example).  I think it has something to do with wanting to be always prepared for every occasion.  Perhaps this is an anxiety of a modern woman, or any contemporary person, this desire to be always prepared.  I have that dialogue in my head, Old me: “I can’t wear skinny jeans to a meeting, bootleg or wide-leg looks more professional.”  New me: “Why are you wearing jeans to a meeting?”  Or, Old me: “I need boyfriend jeans to be comfortable on the weekends.”  New me: “Your jeans should be comfortable all the time.”

New me is incredibly rational, isn’t she?  Anyway, time for some jeans to go.  The hard part is that women’s jeans cost a fortune.  You can easily spend $300 on a pair.  I’ve never quite been able to spend that much, my most expensive pair has been $160 + tax (and they are they most flattering, so I don’t know what to make of that).  Still, I have plenty of $100 + jeans in the closet.  As if 3 pairs of $100 jeans is better than 1 pair of $300 jeans.  It’s not.  That’s what I’m beginning to realize.

• Abercrombie & Fitch  jeans: while I was smitten when I thrifted them from Value Village two months ago, I’ve noticed that they stretch out and sag a lot.  So much that I’m embarrassed to bend over during drop-in playtimes with baby at the local community centre.  Must go.  Luckily, the guilt on this one is low.  Only cost $12.99.
• Hudson jeans: I wore these out, had to get a butt patch to cover up the rip.  Pretty proud of myself, but time for these too go.  $50 (from Winners).  Low guilt.
• J crew jeans: From Goodwill.  I think I got it because it was J crew.  Comfortable, but I discovered that I could not do up the side zipper while wearing baby in front.  Not practical. $12.99.
• Fidelity jeans: A steal at $15.00 from winners.  But…never wore them.  Tags still on.  They were too long and it would’ve cost $20 to get them hemmed.  That really doesn’t seem worth it.

So I’m noticing that I’ve only given away that have been thrifted, or were finds at Winners.  Hmmm…

Nostalgic items.

More things on the go! Last night I couldn’t sleep, I was thinking about what else I could get rid of. I thought about my university sweatshirts I was holding onto for nostalgia’s sake. Not only do they remind me of a particular time in my life, they are also super comfy since I wore them so much. I purposely packed them away, hoping to “wear them out” someday, which is ridiculous thinking.  Not only that, they do not reflect who I am now.  While I am still in school (PhD), I am also working in the private sector with clients, moving into a “posher” neighbourhood, and a mother of a baby girl, so a sweatshirt with the University of ______ is not exactly appropriate for any of those roles.  The only place I would be comfortable wearing them is at home, for 3 hours everyday, and frankly, that’s not enough time to justify holding on to such bulky clothing.

Once I made the decision, it was pretty easy to get rid of some of them (not all, I still can’t part with a few classics).  Baby steps.

Le list:

• 3 university sweatshirts (well loved, but time to say good bye)
• 1 fleece (in a colour that makes me look sickly)
• 2 pairs of comfy shorts (way too short and tight)
• 1 sweatshirt (again, purple is not my colour)
• 1 pair of pink sweatpants (I’m not 16, so…)
• TOTAL: 8 ITEMS

Ins and Outs: July 23rd.

I’d like to chronicle the things that come in to our home and the things that make their timely exit.  I find this cathartic as I am unable to get rid of everything at once.  For now, I’m only counting my stuff and my husband’s stuff.  Ignoring baby for now.

Outs:

• 1 silk worktop (I really do not like purple)
• 2 tank tops (one looks sloppy, and the other one was too “teenager-y”)
• 1 going out top (too many sequins, kept another similar one)
• 1 long sleeve shirt (too tight and short)
• 2 pairs of work pants (saggy butt)
• 1 pair of lounge pants (too long, tripping hazard.  Not a good idea with baby)
• 1 pair of Calvin Klein heels (expensive, worn once, ouch.  Both my feet and my wallet hurt)
• 2 pairs of sandals (time to retire these oldies)
• 1 pair of flats (another oldie)
• 1 pair of workout socks (one sock rolls down when I walk)
• TOTAL: 13 ITEMS

Ins:

• 1 pair of jeans from Value Village ($9.99 + tax)
• 1 t-shirt from the Gap ($6.99 + tax)
• 1 whiteboard on which write our collective tasks ($24.99 + tax)
• TOTAL: 3 ITEMS

Eventually, it would be nice to adopt the one in, one out rule.  For now, it’s nice to just get rid of things that we don’t really use anymore.